please don't judge me

Clearly my project of putting all/any worthwhile old blogs on here got sidetracked, what with work and school and my commitment to never miss the Daily Show. How else am I supposed to stay informed? I'm still not doing that, I just felt the need to write about addiction. Afrin is addictive. So is my job.

Most people know about Afrin's addictive potential but do most of them also know how dangerous it is? Apparently it can cause horrible side effects like semi-permanent closure of the nasal passage, hallucination, suicidal thoughts, gnashing of teeth, killer robots, etc. I discovered this b/c I took afrin tonight (and cough syrup. I'm drinking it out of the bottle these days, don't judge me. It's really more to do with impatience than irresponsibility) and had a bad reaction as I do from time to time with Afrin. My throat has been irritatingly dry and prickly for the past couple hours. I've been sucking on citrus vitamin c drops non-stop in an attempt to get my throat to re-hydrate itself to no avail.

In the height of my discomfort, I googled "afrin throat needles" or something like that to see if my problem is common and/or has a simple remedy. I did not find any forums or sites discussing my particular problem but I did find a woman describing how Afrin had basically ruined her life. It makes me think twice about using it, except not really because the aforementioned woman, let's call her Beth for convenience's sake, took Afrin for five days straight, whereas I adhere strictly to the three day max rule as proscribed on the bottle. Besides, Afrin is magical, I could never give it up. What other over the counter (or prescription) medication works as instantaneously and well as Afrin? NONE that I've ever tried. When a product delivers on that level, I cannot abandon it. But I'm still scared of it. Kind of like Lady Gaga. I guess we didn't really need to name Beth, did we?

But what really inspired this post was my job. It takes longer than three days to become addicted, but the addiction is just as life-ruining. I hate myself. I hate people. I'm tired of my friends, and I can't hang out with the friends I'm not tired of because I'm too busy. I have little to no faith in the world, I get angry more often and faster than I used to, I'm a bigger asshole when I drive now, and I can't lose weight b/c of my ridiculous schedule and because I'm surrounded by fatty restaurant food.

But I can't leave because I'm addicted. Why? The money. I'm not a Rockefeller, or even one of the hussies that Tiger was probably paying off in vain to keep their mouths shut, but I'm living pretty comfortably as a college student. I can go shopping or go out to eat whenever I want, rent a private room in a nice, newer apartment, buy dvds and $44 Flight of the Conchords tickets, afford the monthly payments on a car with leather heated seats, take a road trip to LA, pay for unexpected $1200 car repairs when I break down in the Mojave desert on the way to LA, etc. I was a poor college student before I had this job, and I'm not going back!

I need these luxuries like a heroin junkie needs her needle. And unfortunately, I've become accustomed to prostituting myself at the feet of Utah Valley restaurant patrons in order to get my fix, just as the junkie would prostitute herself on the Reno street corners to get hers. Drugs do not beget happy, fulfilled lives, and neither does restaurant work. Yet so few of us seem able to leave it behind and build a more functional life. The parallels between drugs and my job are disturbing.

The light at the end of the tunnel, of course, is that I'm set to graduate in a few months, at which time I intend to throw my apron down dramatically on the line and leave the service industry forever, having acquired the necessary qualifications to find a bleak office job and wither away in a 9 to 5 life.

lovin the dirrrty life

I've been experimenting lately with not washing my hair every day, as seems to be the norm here in uber dry Utah. Or maybe everywhere, and I just wasn't aware of it before I moved here. But seriously, my hair gets really greasy in a 24 hour period so I always just sighed and stared longingly at the girls I knew who hadn't washed their hair in four days and it still looked powder fresh. I've even talked to some girls who have contests to see how long they can go without washing their hair, the longest I've heard is two weeks. Some things just aren't fair. OR ARE THEY?

I have a theory that your hair adapts over time to how frequently you wash it. Since I washed mine everyday, it produced more grease in a shorter time period. I have no idea if this is scientifically accurate or if I just reconciled myself to having slightly less clean hair, but after a couple months of washing my hair on average once every other day, it seems a lot less greasy the second day! Granted I can still tell a little bit of difference in appearance and in how it reacts when I style it, but I can actually stand to be seen in public with unwashed hair now, whereas before it felt like nails on a chalkboard.

So I'm here to encourage other girls like me who think they HAVE to wash their hair everyday to give it a try. Make sure you have a lot of hats to wear and lots of baby powder to rub into your roots on the second day of not washing for the first month or two, but there's a good chance that after a while your hair grease will calm down and you'll be able to save some time in your morning routine (and in your hair's well-being, since it dries your hair out and is just generally not going to improve its health by washing it every day)! Not to mention you'll save money on shampoo since you're using half as much. Which is a big deal for me and other girls who don't buy cheap shampoo and have to use a lot of conditioner because their hair is on the longer side.

The Office Manifesto

I'm not even that into either version of the show; it's just that people around here have been SO annoying lately about talking about how the American version is better than the British one, AND everyone I've talked to who argues that has not seen more than one or two episodes.
Basically the reason why the BBC version is better is because the American one is the exact same show with the exact same main characters with almost the exact same script. The American re-make is completely unnecessary, a greedy and redundant endeavor on the part of everyone involved. They're not saying anything new or insightful with it, and I'm pretty sure the only reason it was created was because they had this fantastic product with the BBC version but it was only having marginal success in America since most Americans are too idiotic to be able to embrace something that's not being shoved down their throats during every commercial break of Grey's Anatomy.
So what to do? How to tap the American market with this show that so obviously merits attention and success? Just re-cast it with more attractive people and slap it on NBC primetime! (see below for side by side comparisons of the attractiveness levels of the corresponding characters so you can judge for yourself if this is not the case) Of course, why didn't we think of it before?!! Americans are too close-minded and ethnocentric to accept an original and exceptionally well-written and -acted show if the actors look like regular people and have natural British accents. Duh. How naive of us to ever expect otherwise! I can't believe we waited this long to make petty alterations so as to conform to the mold of every other primetime sit-com and reinforce the convoluted American standards that suppress diversity and encourage ignorance and complacency. God forbid they have to reach outside their comfort bubble to experience something worthwhile, so we'll just cater to their laziness.
On an irrelevant-to-my-argument note, I do think Gareth would kick Dwight's ass and that Ricky Gervais is just too tough an act to follow. Steve Carell isn't half as annoying.







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originally posted 12/13/06


UGH! I've edited the layout of the pictures multiple times so they're actually side by side but they always go back to doing that... oh well you get the idea.

blanket movie review

Well I just got back from seeing Step Up at the dollar theater and unfortunately must now add it to my list of movies where my main reaction was "too much plot." Seriously, think about it...does anyone go to see movies like "Step Up," "Bring It On," "Drumline," "High School Musical," or "Stick It" for the plot? Of COURSE not. So when will the people who make these movies figure out that they're putting way too much plot (or more accurately, effort at a plot) in these movies and not nearly enough dancing/singing/marching band/gymnastics/general performing? If you want plot, go rent Memento or an M. Night Shyamalan movie or something. But not Lady in the Water, I heard that sucked big time.
In essence, these movies should ideally be a succession of, oh, maybe a dozen or 15 innovative performance scenes strung together by some sort of pithy and shallow romance story with minimal dialogue and lots of making out, kind of like the second Matrix movie (obviously replacing fighting with performing). There was way too much plot in Step Up. One of the characters even died, for crying out loud. What is that??! No way should this type of movie attempt anywhere near that level of seriousness.

For all the marching band nerd like me, here's...well, something you've probably already seen.


originally posted 10/19/06

I wish that scooter still worked.

I was riding dirty on my scooter, Reggie, the other day, and Reggie is not endowed with all the awesome rapid acceleration powers of your average car.

me and Reg circa July 2006

It's not a huge difference, it's just like, when I'm sitting at a stoplight with other cars, they'll get going at a better pace more quickly than I can when the light turns green. It might be a slight annoyance for the more gas-pedal happy driver behind me, but I'm not exactly holding up traffic when everyone is just accelerating to get to the next red light 500 feet ahead.
So this big stupid tan SUV was behind me the other night, and they were stuck behind me for a stretch cause of turning and lanes and junk. Finally it was able to pass me and the driver craned his neck around to give me some really dirty looks because I was not going fast enough to enable him to race to be the first one to arrive at the next red light.
I almost felt concerned for a moment, but then I remembered that he's supporting terrorists and I'm not since he drives a vehicle that probably uses about $70 worth of gas every week or two, whereas I drive a vehicle that uses, oh, $3 worth of gas, and that gas comes mostly from countries that are mostly run by terrorist groups, so by using so much gas unnecessarily when he could've bought a station wagon, or God forbid, a sedan (my parents made it work with 4 kids!), he's sending a bunch of extra money to those countries where the terrorists get to keep it. So screw you, SUV guy! I wish you would've suddenly and dangerously swung your car around in front of me, blocking me and forcing me to stop so you could yell at me about how you're not going to get home in time for sunday night football (wrong season? I don't know) or whatever because I would've totally let you have it. You think I'm being selfish, driving my little scooter, not going 20 miles over the speed limit on State Street, regardless of the other cars on the road? I'll tell you what selfish is, you in your macho SPORT UTILITY vehicle that you drive to the GROCERY STORE every other day.
Anyway, enough ranting for now. Just to clarify, I know that it's not possible for everyone to drive scooters since some people have legitimate needs to haul big stuff and other human beings and whatnot, but even so, very few of those people have hauling needs that merit a 16 mpg monstrosity.

originally posted 8/1/06

me complaining about vh1 four years ago

I, for one, am sick of VH1 playing the same half dozen videos over and over again in the middle of the night when I'm trying to study and need some nice background music. It's worse than radio, really. I mean, at least radio has 80's night once in a while so I can be reminded of all the shitty, annoying songs that were popular 20 years ago.

1. "Photograph" by SwitchNickelCreedFoot of 3 Mudd Doors or whatever other talentless Candian Christian-crossover band that just released a single

more proof that nickelback sucks:

2. "Fix You" by Coldplay but really it's just Gwyneth Paltrow's husband walking around a city at night

3. "Wake Me Up When This Song Ends" by Greenday

news flash! spiky hair hasn't been cool since the first half of the 90s.

4. "Another song that nobody cares about where I walk around strumming my guitar and flaunting my hot 42 year old body" by Sheryl Crow

I stole this awesome image from http://www.songspeak.com/tag/60s-music/ Well done, my friend!

5. [Insert title of any Weezer song here] by Weezer where Rivers stares, expressionless, into the camera while surrounded by a bunch of horny teenagers. To be fair, I don't know if old school Weezer videos were all like this but they sure as hell all are now.

Do we need to put him on suicide watch?

6. Don't even get me started on U2. Honestly, the guys think they're gods or something. I mean, they named their cd "How to dismantle an atomic bomb." Hurry, alert the CIA that they can cancel any new agent training they've scheduled and purchase 800,000 copies of the new U2 cd.

That's it, I'm switching over to infomercials during my all night cram sessions and paper writings.

originally posted 11/16/05

Alternative to birth control vis-a-vis cramp control

"Sooner or later after childbirth and breastfeeding, your menstrual cycle will resume. But here's a welcome side effect: You may have fewer bothersome cramps. Some women even find that menstrual pain ceases altogether after pregnancy and childbirth. This pain reduction is a well-known phenomenon, but no one knows for sure why it occurs. One theory is that childbirth eliminates some of the prostaglandin receptor sites in the uterus. Prostaglandins, hormones that direct the uterus to contract during labor, also play a role in monthly menstrual pain. The upshot? Fewer pain-receptor sites, fewer cramps." -MSN article about the good side effects of pregnancy

I was on the NuvaRing for 4 months for period regulation and pretty much hated every second of it. Looks like I need to get myself knocked up...

originally posted 4/13/05